The Mystery of the Crystal Bull
by ForeverTheTorturedRebel
Summary: It's 1948 New York and Alejandro Burromuerto has been murdered. But worse than this, his family's priceless artifact has been stolen! Now with help from Owen, Noah, and a suspicious seductress, it's up to Justin Blackthorn to solve the biggest crime he could ever witness! With twists and turns you will ever witness!
1. Chapter 1

**"The Mystery of the Crystal Bull"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama, nor do I plan to anytime in the near future. Oh, and Justin does the narrating.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

1948 New York.

You would be surprised to imagine an atmosphere quite like this...

You can hear the fans of Yankee Stadium going crazy at a baseball game miles away.

You can see the rise of crime going up thanks to those bloodthirsty mafia gangs.

Heck, you can even go into Radio City Music Hall and hear some of the finest dames that can ever sing their hearts out.

And me, well... let's just say I'm a good-looking detective just looking for a thrill to hunt, a thrill to search, and a thrill for the fine things in life. Of course, it didn't bother me that I felt all alone in a crummy office. But it didn't matter to me. That was my life, by the way.

My name you ask? I go by the name of Justin Blackthorn. I was busy with a bottle of whiskey in my hand and a cigarette in my mouth. They said that it was hazardous to my health, but I really didn't give a damn why. They say too much drinking and too much smoking can even effect my good looks. Boy, were they wrong. I still looked good. My hair still looked good. Well, it was a little messed up, but I didn't give one damn. No, not at all. I still looked built as a horse in the Kentucky Derby. The finest stallion there was of all. Weird for a 23 year old like me.

But let's just say that I wasn't alone for very long. This day was so much weird to me. I don't know why. The whole thing and the whole picture looked very wrong to me at first. Maybe I can try to fix it.

"Hey, guys, can you change this scenery into black and white? That's what the 1940's was like! Besides, if we had color back in the 1940's, it wouldn't look so much like a movie!" I said to an unknown source off-screen.

"Oh, sorry." The unknown man said off-screen as he changed the whole entire scenery of a movie from the 1940's. It was now black and white. That's the way I wanted it. "Is that better?"

"It's better, just like my abs are portrayed in this little fic that somebody's writing!" I spoke to the unknown source again as I now approached my own office, where I saw two men sitting on seats right near my desk.

The two men had detective hats like me and not to mention were dressed in yellow trenchcoats. Yeah, it looked a little cliche, but then again, I'm not much of a detective person on the inside. But since this was the outside, I guess I'll let it pass. Their names were Owen Stadinski and Noah Lewis. One looked a little fat and one had such a big head and looked very scrawny. Heck, he was very scrawny, he made my whole entire physique looked plain toothpicky. I had to make them welcome anyway I can.

"So, you must be Owen Stadinski and Noah Lewis, huh? Glad to see your credentials. Although I think it's very weird that I was cut off by that unattractive hot dog smell that's making me a little weary as a matter of fact." I said as I gestured right to Owen.

"Sorry, the hot dog cart did a number on me and I was trying to fight back." Owen said with a burp. Okay, his burp was just way too uncomfortable for me, I felt like I needed a barf bag or something.

"You gotta apologize, his bile is making me weary as it is." Noah replied to me as I nodded with his statement about Owen disrespect of his own bile.

"I'll make aware of that..." I spoke on before I decided to offer both Noah and Owen a bottle of whiskey, "Jack Daniel's?"

"No, I'm good. I don't really drink as a matter of fact." Noah replied, just declining the booze.

"What the hell, lay it on me!" Owen exclaimed as I gave him a glass and I poured him some. "Thanks!"

"No problem, it's what a detective like me does in his spare time." I nodded to him, "So any clue why you showed up in my door?"

"Well, older detectives like us need your help, Detective Blackthorn. And you're one of the best detectives around. You see, there's a hit being made-" Noah said before he got cut off by a burp, mainly from Owen.

"BUUUUUUUUURP!" Owen belched accidentally, before Noah turned to him annoyed, "Sorry, continue."

"Okay..." Noah replied to Owen before he focused right on me, "So, right from where I was rudely interrupted, there's a hit being made-"

Noah was cut off by the burping sound that was Owen once again.

"Owen?" Noah replied back to Owen, looking very irritated that his fat friend was cutting him off.

"Sorry, that was the whiskey talking. This is pretty good stuff!" Owen exclaimed happily and yet a bit drunkly as he let out a final burp.

"Yeah, I see..." Noah spoke back to Owen as he once again turned to me, "So from where I was saying. This case is really important, and we need you to take it. Without any further interruptions whatsoever, there's a hit being made-"

This time, Noah got cut off by a knock on the door. I could feel the rosemary smell coming from outside of my door. I just had to see who it was.

"Come on in." I shouted to the outside.

"Life, why do you really hate me so?" Noah shouted a bit to the sky, knowing that he got really sick of being cut off everytime he was about to speak.

But when the door opened, there was a seductive figure just standing in the doorway with her hand on her hip and the other hand on the doorrail. I couldn't believe what I saw. She was just so delectable, just so foxy, and just drop dead beautiful. Heck, I could feel my beautiful insides just malfunctioning on impact by the sight of her. She looked like a beautiful dish with captivating grey eyes with a shiny, sparkly red dress, long black hair that reached to her hip, and just the finest type of cleavage a detective like me would enjoy. Did I mention those silk legs of hers? Man, those legs were just so feisty like a Thanksgiving turkey dinner. Geez, now I'm hungry. Maybe I should take my focus on the dame herself.

"So, what's a breathless dame like you doing at my office at a time like this?" I spoke to her with an intrigued tone as I kept on sipping on my whiskey.

"You must be Justin Blackthorn, aren't you? One of the finest detectives of all in New York?" The hot seductive dame said right to me.

"The one and only." I spoke to her, just trying to keep my good-looking self steady, "And who must you be, angel lips?"

"The name's Heather Violet..." Heather spoke in her brilliant damsel seductress tone, "I came to you for help. It's very important and I need someone with... skill and... experience to come help you."

"Excuse me, miss. But we're in the middle of something here, so I would appreciate it if you-" Noah said right to Heather before I grabbed him by the arm and sent him back to his seat.

"Sit back down, big-head." I spoke out to him as I focused back on Heather, "So, tell me your little tale, angel lips."

"Gladly..." Heather spoke as she grabbed a chair and gently sat down with her legs crossed. Man, seeing those sent my detective heart pumping to the sky, "But before I speak, will you promise to take this case... for me?"

Now, I knew that outside that Heather was a queen bee who would get what she wants with looks and money all-in-between, but she was so much of a fancy seductress when it comes to men. I really dig that in a dame as her.

"Go on..." I replied as I grabbed another shot of whiskey, still looking very intrigued.

"My husband, Alejandro Burromuerto, one of the finest youngest millionaires of his family is about to decree the finest diamond of the great Crystal Bull to a member of his family. But I know in his heart that he'll give his possession to me, and so of all my other relatives." Heather said with her eyes fluttering seductively at me, "But there's somebody out there who's willing to take out a hit on him and steal it for himself. Nothing but death threats. So, I need you to be at Alejandro's dinner party that he's attending. I'm willing you to not only to protect the artifact and him, but to protect me. Will you take the case?"

But then, Heather was soon cut off by Noah.

"Hey, I was about to say that!" Noah exclaimed feeling a bit angry that Heather beat him to it. Maybe that was the 'hit' part that Noah was trying to talk to me about. I guess I really got to get my perfect ears to listen.

"Sorry, you could've came to me earlier than that." I said right to Noah before I took my refocus on Heather, "So, where we're we?"

"The case, Mr. Blackthorn. Will you take it?" Heather replied as he strutted a bit sexually over to me, and just like a purring kitten trying to keep warm on a cold winter, she sat on my lap and whispered to me where I had a hint of sweet vanilla go through my nose, "I need your help. Desperately..."

Crap, the way she was talking to me, I swear I could feel something twinging right inside my pants. She had the pure Asian sexuality of a cheetah just moving slowly like a ocean going in slow-motion. Weird how ocean and motion almost sounds alike. Just the way she was sitting on my lap and just purring made me lose the ability to speak. I took a huge deep breath inside of me and finally spoke.

"I'll... I'll take the case." I spoke to her while being lost in her eyes. So precious and just so seductive. She was the sweetest devil I could ever witness. "So where do you want me to be there?"

"Be there at seven. Don't be late..." Heather whispered a bit sexually to me before she got off me and started to strut away from me. But not without turning to me for the last time before she went out by the door, "Me and Alejandro will be expecting you. Bye..."

But before Heather could leave again, she turned right to Owen, who was just sitting there with a cup of whiskey still in hand.

"And you..." Heather replied to Owen but not with a seductive tone, but with a disgusted tone, "Lose the whiskey. I swear I could smell your nasty burps from here..."

With that, Heather just strutted right away while some weird cliched slow saxophone music was playing right on the background. I wanted to know where it's coming from, but occasionally, it maybe must've been over my head.

"What the hell did I do?" Owen replied as he tried to smell his own burps in the process. Okay, the smell was starting to make me cringe from the inside. It makes me wish that I missed Heather's rosemary smell right now.

"Basically making me uneasy at this point." I cringed deep down at this matter. But knowing that Heather gave me the case, I found out another idea. "Change of plans boys, you're going with me to Alejandro's dinner party to make sure we protect the priceless jewel and both of them."

"That's what I tried to frickin' tell you before your mind got in the gutter." Noah replied to me as he rolled his eyes.

"I really like your smug attitude, Noah. Keep it like that for when we get to the dinner party." I said before I finally got out of my seat and started to leave, but not without turning to both Owen and Noah, "Make sure you dress casual, smell nice, and Owen..."

"Yeah?" Owen said to me as he was standing right up on his seat.

"Make sure you don't burp, okay?" I said to him as I reminded him, "I don't want the others to be offended by your burps. One hint of that smell is enough to puke someone's perfect abs, just like mine."

"Oh..." Owen said in a hint of disappointment.

"Yeah, meet me back here in 8 hours. Until then, get fully dressed and groomed. I'll see ya back then." I said to both of them before I finally made my way out of the door, which left Owen and Noah just high and dry.

"Wow, he was nice. I kinda dig his butt too when he walks. It must be bulging like a balloon!" Owen exclaimed in amazement as Noah looked at him feeling a bit disgusted by his comments.

"Did you get dropped on your head when you were a little baby? Because that was a little gay..." Noah said as he was about to cringe from the inside.

"What? At least gay meant 'happy' back in the 40's!" Owen exclaimed in defense before Noah decided he had enough and left my office, "What? At least it was a happy butt, come on...!"

For me, Owen and Noah... this was gonna be one interesting case I wasn't gonna forget one bit...

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**Heh, a nice detective story. This is gonna be interesting. Now, I'm not gonna tell you who's in the story besides Justin, Heather, Owen and Noah but you'll have to find out in the later chapters to come! Until then, read and review... OR ELSE!**

***Imitates Dramatic sound effect***


	2. Chapter 2

**"The Mystery of the Crystal Bull"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama, nor do I plan to anytime in the near future. Oh, and Justin does the narrating.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

It was 6:30 p.m., I was decked out in a nice black tuxedo with a nice comfortable detective hat over my head. Sure it was weird wearing a hat over my head knowing that it might mess up my hair, but I didn't care at the moment. I had a job to do, more like an assignment for a dame in sudden distress. Even when she's not here, I could feel her perfume go right to my nose. Sent a smile right to my face. I took a nice flask that I kept for safe keeping and poured some excellent whiskey right inside it. Hey, gotta take my whiskey to go. Makes a body good for a hardened body like mine.

I looked at my mirror, in which I just looked so svelte and so killer. I still had my pearlie white smile. No wonder with my detective background that I was a huge hit with the ladies. But I wasn't ready for love just yet, for it was all about me, Justin Blackthorn.

I kept looking at my good-looking self until I was suddenly cut off by a knock on the door. I was curious so I managed to get it. And when I did...

...it managed to be Owen, who looked like he was dressed for the monkey boy's ball.

"Ah, Owen... you showed up." I said to him just trying not to snicker at what Owen was wearing. It was very gray and yet his body fat was almost enough to burst the buttons wide open. "Nice selection of clothes you got there."

"Yep, it came from the finest tailor in town!" Owen smiled right at me as he was still adjusting his grey tuxedo hoping his body fat wouldn't pop out, "Nice to see you look very handsome."

"Yeah, thanks..." I said right back to Owen. Okay, maybe it was a little bit weird that he said that about me. But I'm willing to let everything Owen says just slide. I soon noticed that Owen left someone missing with him. "Um, Owen... I don't mean to be clueless here, but aren't you missing somebody?"

"Oh, Noah? Well, he's just a little cranky that I chose him an outfit to wear for Alejandro's dinner party. I think he looks kinda cute. But not in the gay way." Owen replied as he just tried to correct himself.

"Good, I was confused you were gonna say something gay at the last moment." I said, just trying to shake off Owen's gay thoughts off his mind.

"Well, here he is!" Owen replied as he looked right at the hallway, hoping that I would see Noah in his suit that Owen chose for him, but he didn't seem to be there. Owen noticed this too and began to speak once again, "I said, 'Here he is'!"

"Forget it, Owen! I'm not even gonna come out!" Noah cried out angrily from another door.

"Come on, it ain't that bad!" Owen exclaimed as he tried to get Noah out of another person's office.

"I know it's bad. But you know what's even more badder than bad, me having to dress like a retarded banana!" Noah cried out once again as he refused to come out. Seeing that he was acting this way, I had to persuade him nonetheless.

"Look, Noah. It's only gonna be for this mission and for tonight. After that, you don't have to wear anything mustard-like ever again!" I exclaimed right to Noah as let out a sigh.

"You promise I won't have to wear anything so godawful like this ever again?" Noah replied through the door.

"I promise you, it's only for one night." I spoke to him again, "Now will you please come out of here. I promise we won't laugh at you."

"Okay, fine. Only for one night!" Noah angrily spat out before he finally opened the door.

When me and Owen saw him, we couldn't help but snicker of what Noah was actually wearing. It was a black fedora hat and yellow formal. I guess he really does look like a retarded banana. Noah looked plum angry at me and Owen, in which we were trying not to laugh at him.

"Okay, I guess I was wrong, you look like a retarded banana..." I snickered at him.

"See, I told you they would hate this!" Noah cried out angrily to Owen as he was about to threaten his partner, just like if he wanted to choke the hell out of tubby himself.

"Look, Noah... it's only one guy's opinion. Nobody but Justin is gonna think of you as a retarded banana." Owen said just snickering a bit.

"Yeah, man. Even someone good looking like me wouldn't be caught in something so nauseous." I said right to Noah with all due respect, "But if it makes you feel any better, I heard from every woman in New York that a man being dressed in yellow finds it very attractive and cute."

Hearing myself say that, Noah just stood up surprised.

"Really? Wearing yellow gets me girls?" Noah said as he still looked surprised than a coconut.

"It's the truth, my man. Heck, I wore yellow once and the rest of the girls all came to me like the Black Plague." I replied to him very nicely.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get to that dinner party!" Noah exclaimed happily as he quickly powerwalked away from the hallways.

"Um, Justin... I don't believe that's ever true..." Owen whispered to my ear.

"Nah, I just said that to make him look better. He'll still look like the retarded banana..." I smirked at Owen a little as he laughed. Sure I was a little harsh at Noah, but what can I say? I enjoy a little dark humor every now and then.

Meanwhile, I was right inside my car driving alongside Owen and Noah. We had to send Owen right in the back because having him fart right on the passenger's seat would make my good looks and my perfect face suffocate like hell itself. I sure as hell didn't want that. So as I was driving right around town, I looked right at Owen itself.

"Breath mint, Owen? You gotta keep it fresh like my perfect mouth." I said right to the fatman as he accepted my mint.

"Hey, Justin... can I have one?" Noah said right to me before I turned my attention to him.

"I wish I could, but my policy tells me I don't give mints to bananas." I said with a little tease of his formal yellow outfit.

"Oh, ha ha! Come on, I don't want my breath to stink up like Owen's! I want it to be minty!" Noah complained to me like a little girl. Knowing that I didn't want to put up with his bitching, I just decided to catch him a break.

"I'm just kidding. Of course you can have a mint. Although, those ladies are gonna fall for your yellowness in an instant." I chuckled as I dropped mints into my perfectly sculpted hands and gave them to Noah so that he can chew them up.

"Yeah, laugh it up. No girl can resist yellow like mine..." Noah replied with a scoff.

"I can't wait to see that..." I said as I turned my attention towards the road. I was just passing over Madison Square Garden before my nose really started to cringe. It felt a bit disgusting to me as I knew where that foul skunky smell was coming from, "Ack! Owen, was that you?"

"Sorry, I sorta had four chili dogs for lunch. I didn't know it was gonna happen, I'm sorry!" Owen cried out a bit as I just rolled down the car window.

"Geez, Owen... it smells like burnt death and a dead skunk all rolled up into one!" Noah said as he cringed as well. He was almost about to lose a state of consciousness before he too rolled down the car window.

"Noah, a little advice... make sure Owen doesn't fart at the dinner party as well! My perfect skin's just dying out!" I exclaimed as I had no choice but to plug my nose in order to get rid of the fart smell that Owen unleashed inside this car.

After 15 minutes of finally getting rid of the smell, we finally drove right around the woods just miles away from New York City.

"Geez, I didn't know Alejandro lived in some sort of wood-ish environment." Owen replied as he looked around the trees. His fat knees was just shaking around a bit to be exact. "Are you sure there's bears here?"

"I'm very certain, Owen. Maybe Alejandro's an outdoor-sy guy. I wouldn't be more surprised if they happened to pop out of the woods and chew my perfectly natural innards out." I replied to him naturally, "But luckily for us, they wouldn't come close to us, knowing that were finally in a car."

"Oh, good... I always thought a bear would rip up my ass fat and use them as bacon. And I'm proud of my ass fat!" Owen cried out again as Noah felt more disgusted than ever.

"Thanks, Owen. I may never have bacon again..." Noah replied a little lowly to his detective friend.

As we were still enjoying our talk, we finally drove up to this nice little family mansion of Alejandro's. Yep, by the look of this place, it didn't look too large like most mansions, but it looked very roomy on the inside, so I guess it won't be too bad at the moment.

"Okay, I guess were here." I said as both Owen and Noah looked right at the mansion themselves.

"Is this where Alejandro lives?" Owen spoke to me as I too looked at the mansion.

"Looks like it." I replied to him as they turned to me and I gave them the gameplan, "Now remember the gameplan, we're here to protect three things: Heather, the Crystal Bull and Alejandro himself. If anything bad happens, we are screwed, and so am I? And if anything bad happens to the rest of us, what do we say?"

"I want to die?" Noah replied as he raised an eyebrow at me.

"That's the one." I responded pointing right at Noah for getting that right. "Now lets move out."

Both the three of us, after discussing our mission, finally got out of the car and approached the doorway to the Burromuerto mansion, where there would be thousands of people attending this little dinner party of his. The question concerning me, Owen and Noah was this...

Was this gonna end well... or perhaps, end worse? Whatever this was, we weren't expected the surprise we saw coming.

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**Surprise, huh? Which chapter do you think this little 'surprise' will come? Hmmm, whatever it is, I'm sure Justin will solve it nonetheless.  
**

**Until then, read and review til the next chapter! If ya smell... what I'm cookin'. And no, it's not a fart joke, so don't get any ideas.**


	3. Chapter 3

**"The Mystery of the Crystal Bull"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama, nor do I plan to anytime in the near future. Oh, and Justin does the narrating.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

I finally knocked right on the door. Me, Owen and Noah usually waited a while for someone to come get the door and let us in. I don't know, usually it takes like five minutes for us to wait. Just hoping it didn't rain in such cheesy effect. Although the skies looked very bland to me. So I pretty much took the time to look at myself with a compact mirror, not really knowing if compact mirrors existed in the 1940's, but still I had to put one in nonetheless.

"You making sure you don't have any lettuce on your teeth?" Noah snickered right at me, knowing that I felt so annoyed by that careless comment.

"Ha ha, Noah." I spoke to him sarcastingly, "At least I still don't wear a human banana in tuxedo form..."

Noah looked at me with an angry glare as I said that. And finally, after few minutes of waiting, a butler looking like in his 40's, finally opened the door and looked at me in this respectful greeting.

"Ah, you've been expected. Master Al will be arriving shortly." The family butler spoke out to me with a smile, "Therefore, come on in."

With a smile, we finally got inside the house, but before Noah can get in, the butler somehow looked at Noah's corny banana-colored tuxedo.

"You look very retarded, sir..." The butler spoke right to Noah.

"Here's $10, go light your breath and die." Noah said to the butler annoyingly as he gave him a $10.

The inside was just so fabulous. Basically, the family and friends who Alejandro knew was there. Basically, his friends was full of famous people. There was Lightning Lewis, the first baseman for the Brooklyn Dodgers alongside his honey Anne Maria. He was chatting alongside two of Alejandro's friends, mainly Geoff and Bridgette, who owned a very nice boat shop near the waters of New York City. Then, you had Duncan Masquerini, which was the son of a famous mob boss with his main squeeze, Courtney Hernandez having draped all over Duncan's arm as they were sharing a dance. And then, you had LeShawna Fitzgerald, which was a famous singer all around the New York state while she was busy having her time with the family's famed chef Harold McGrady V, in which he was born in a bloodline full of chefs. Basically, this dinner party wasn't too much, but it was very nice to be exact. So this little murder may not happen. It doesn't bother me at the least, knowing that I had to get out of the office every now and then.

"Will you like some cracker with salami on top?" The butler asked me politely. Of course, I couldn't refuse an offer like this, so I gladly took one.

"Oh, don't mind if I can do!" Owen exclaimed as he gently shoved my perfect body out of the way so that he could get his hands on the entire tray, in which he did.

"Owen... can't you for once act like a gentleman?" Noah replied with an upset face right to Owen, who was just ignoring him.

"You might wanna ignore him, Noah. It's not gonna help him well..." I said to Noah with a bit of an understanding.

As Owen was still chowing down full of appetizers, I just looked around and I suddenly saw Heather with Alejandro around his arm. Now I didn't wanna feel jealous that Heather's with a guy who almost looks like me, almost talks like me, and has every feature like me, but I didn't complain, it was her life and I would respect that in a woman. It was just like me, just respecting women no matter if they were pretty or not. And Heather was waaaay pretty. Heck, even prettier than me. Okay, she's nowhere pretty than me. She had the same long hair but she was dressed in a long dark green dress that showed every ounce of cleavage, just like any other dame would. Just like a gentleman, I came to approach her in every way.

"Nice to meet you, ma'am. Justin Blackthorn at your service." I said, just greeting her with my hat.

"Justin Blackthorn, we've been expecting you." Heather said to me with a seductive smile, "And I'm pretty sure that my husband has been expecting you for quite a long time. Justin... this is my husband Alejandro Burromuerto."

I soon looked at Alejandro and as much I couldn't stand the guy for his arrogant ego, I had no choice but to shake hands with him.

"So, you must be Justin. I heard a lot about you. One of the finest detectives I have ever seen I must say. I'm quite impressed by what you've done for New York." Alejandro replied to me with a smile as he was still shaking my hand, "I haven't seen such cases being solved so quickly by a detective quite your age."

"Well, if that helps, the whiskey is the only cause for my strength." I responded quite gently, "It's like my conscience."

"I couldn't agree more." Alejandro said with another smile, "I was caught by surprise once when you found out about the murder right near Madison Square Garden a few months back. But it was quite better when you captured that cold-blooded killer using an interesting form of wiretap. I never seen you fight so well, I must assume."

"Yeah, well... a good-looking detective like me wants to protect my own fists from having bloody knuckles so far, so I guess it works to my advantage." I spoke right to Alejandro before the butler approached me with drinks of champagne. I just had to pass it up by looking at him. "Oh, no thanks, I'm good."

"Yeah, I'm glad you came here on this distressing time. I can't believe somebody would have the audacity to try to kill me. It's not like somebody's gonna come breaking in and stabbing me repeatedly. I mean, that would be such nonsense that I don't wanna deal with." Alejandro replied as he took his champagne glass and sipped it, "Once again, I'm glad I needed your help on this little mission. Somebody's willing to steal this priceless jewel of mine, in the form of this..."

Hearing this from Alejandro, the latin millionaire then led Justin to a secret room in which he kept his secret jewel from the rest of the guests. Heather was also taken along for the walk as well. They finally went down to his cellar in which Alejandro was approaching a glass object with a red curtain draped over something.

"This Justin, I like to call, the Crystal Bull!" Alejandro exclaimed as I just stared right at it's beauty. So breathless and so unbelievable. It was like every ounce of shining crystal was encased in this little tiny bulls head. It was just like Alejandro's necklace, but only shinier and more spark than a man could ever imagine. "Couldn't resist, could ya? It's so shiny that your balls wouldn't compare to this brilliant crystal masterpiece."

"It's amazing, I'll give you that." I said with an acceptable nod. I wish I could feel it with my own two hands and all, but I felt like that little jewel should remain untouched and I was willing to accept that.

"I'm glad you think so. Just like they say, 'You can look, but you cant touch'. I'm certain that's the same thing compared to my lovely Heather and all." Alejandro replied with a smirk as Heather greeted him from a kiss to his cheek. I couldn't believe that my image just shined so brightly on that incredible jewel of a Crystal Bull.

"I guess I'm taking those words to good use then." I replied just following Alejandro's words as I was still keeping my eyes fixated on the jewel.

"Well, that's good. Okay, that's enough watching. It's about time to see which member of my family will own this precious heirloom. We don't wanna keep them waiting for much longer." Alejandro replied as I finally stopped looking at that priceless figurine and went out of there alongside Alejandro.

And right behind them was Heather, in which she somehow stared far away at the Crystal Bull right at it with just an evil smiling smirk displayed right on her face. Now I really didn't see it from here knowing that my back was turned, but what was Heather thinking right about now? Well, whatever it was, it sure was mysterious to her, no doubt about it.**  
**

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**Hmmmm, I'm right on Justin's part. Why on earth was Heather staring at the Crystal Bull. I'm sure we'll find out later. Or maybe not. It depends on how this story will go from here.  
**

**Until the next chapter, read and review! I will ask you when I say this, this is gonna be very exciting!**


	4. Chapter 4

**"The Mystery of the Crystal Bull"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama, nor do I plan to anytime in the near future. Oh, and Justin does the narrating.  
**

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**Chapter 4**

Back at the Burromuerto family dining hall, the rest of the guests including me, Owen and Noah, who were busy sitting aside from each other, all awaited the arrival of Alejandro. I already met him, but knowing the incredible ego that he already has, he just wanted to make an introduction. Of course, I was gonna be sitting next to Alejandro's seductive wife so I guess she could make very good company. We all looked upstairs and out came their family butler.

"Everyone, may I have all of your attention?" The butler said to the rest of us. We all looked at him very clearly, "May I present to you, Master Alejandro Burromuerto."

When the butler said his name, he slowly approached downstairs with Heather wrapped around his arm. I have to admit, he knew how to make an entrance in his such weird dinner parties. And right behind him was another one of his butlers, who was busy lifting up the huge family heirloom right to the table from which we were all sitting. He was about to reveal the Crystal Bull to everybody soon and somehow, I could feel their insides being sweated on. The rest of the guests, except me and Noah, were just so nervous about what was inside the red curtain.

"Thanks for the introduction, my man." Alejandro smiled right at the butler before he grabbed his champagne glass and turned to the rest of us, "Friends, family, guests. I'm so honored to welcome you to my annual dinner party. This is a time to get to be closer together."

"Justin, my underwear is itching me..." Owen whispered to me as I was trying to hear Alejandro talk.

"Can't you just let it past you for once? Your butt's gonna be fine, trust me..." I whispered to Owen back. His butt was just so much redder than a can of hot sauce being set on fire on the planet Venus.

"But that's not what I called you here. I called you out for one reason. To see which member of my family, would be in control of our family possession." Alejandro smirked a bit as he lifted up the curtain which was covering up the most incredible sight I ever seen. I finally got another chance to see the Crystal Bull. I have no clue why this was hypnotizing me other than my good looks. That I don't know why. The rest of the guests, except Noah in which he didn't too impressed, all gawked at this incredible head of a Crystal Bull, "Presenting... the Crystal Bull!"

"Whoa..." Lightning replied as his eyes suddenly bulged out of it's sockets. "It's sha-mazing!"

"I'll say... it matches my eyes..." Anne Maria said as her eyes just sparkled on that piece of hardened crystal.

"Eh, it's not bad." Duncan replied with his arms crossed, "It's a lot better than Harold's silver underwear back at his place."

"I'm glad that the rest of you like it. I wish I could give the artifact to the rest of you, but unfortunately, it must be a part of my family." Alejandro said with a bit of negativity in his face, "I don't want to keep you waiting any longer. It's now time I name the person of my family that I will pass this priceless artifact to."

Somehow, I wanted to hear this, but Owen kept annoying me a bit with his itchy underwear.

"Justin... do you have any rash cream?" Owen whispered right to me.

"Why should I know, Owen? Like I said, just wait!" I whispered to him gently, not making sure that we didn't start a commotion at the dinner table.

"I can't help it, my biscuits are just bleeding to the bone here!" Owen whispered to me once again. Maybe it's just about high tide that I ignored him and listened to what Alejandro said.

"I was given this family heirloom by age 10, which is sent to represent wisdom and courage to my family, and now 13 years later, it's now brought me so much luck. And now, it's time to pass it on to the next generation of Burromuertos, or perhaps, let someone older than me reclaim my wisdom and courage." Alejandro said as he took one final look at Heather before he could finally name the successor or the reclaimer of the Crystal Bull, "So it is with my honor that I give this priceless Crystal Bull..."

I stood up way far on my seat to see who was going to be named. Noah just went right to sleep, I assume since this would be so boring to him. I also adjusted my perfect wavy hair in the process. And then, out came Alejandro's lips.

"...to my wonderful father who has taught me all through the years and back. And I want to say that you deserve my wisdom and courage to keep leading this family to great strength." Alejandro said with a smile as he toasted to his mother and father, both middle aged, who were smiling right at their proud son. "Thanks, dad. You deserve it."

"Anytime, son. You're always there for us when you need to." Alejandro's father said to his son with a smile on his face.

Somehow, having Alejandro say his father's name made Heather grow very upset and very angry. He was supposed to name her as the owner of the priceless crystal artifact. His teeth was gritting angrier like the mad bulldog that she was. But knowing that this was only a dinner party, she had no choice but to hide it.

"Now that's settled. Let's all have a wonderful dinner, courtesy of me. So Cheers!" Alejandro exclaimed as he raised his glass, joining in a group toast.

"Cheers!" The rest of us said to Alejandro before he finally sat down and enjoyed the rest of the cuisine. I gotta say, the choice of food is not bad, especially for a hard body like mine. Pretty much the Chicken Cacciatore, the Fetuccine Alfredo, and perhaps every pasta I couldn't really imagine. It was like a world tour full of food. I took a flask full of whiskey and prepared to drank it all the way before I dug in into the food. I guess that should really help.

"Justin, can I go to the bathroom now. My ass is just leaking blood all around!" Owen whispered to Justin yet again.

"Yes, Owen. By all means, go to the bathroom!' I said to him as let out a scowl. Owen quickly rushed right out of the dining hall and had to find the nearest bathroom there ever was. Geez, who knew a fatman like him can ever run that fast in his entire life? For the love of me, I'll never know why. I was about to eat my delicious plate of Chicken Cacciatore when I suddenly noticed Heather talking to me.

"So Justin, how are you enjoying Alejandro's pasta? It's his secret recipe." Heather smiled gracefully like a woman should be.

"I gotta say, it's really good. It feels kinda spicy though." I replied as I was chewing the food. It did feel kinda spicy though, concerning the amounts of cayenne pepper that was added to this feast. I can always wonder why Alejandro always had such a fascination with anything spicy, whether it's women or food that can literally make my pee turn right into fire. And I got a perfect urine tract and I didn't want to have to do or eat anything so fiery to make it sizzle. Maybe I may keep my tract in after all.

"I'm glad you really thank so." Heather said with a purr to her voice. Even though I was never interested in her, I have to admit that the purring in her voice got me a little bothered. But I didn't mind, her voice just heated up the insides in me. Heather then soon turned to his husband, Alejandro. "Excuse me, I have to use the little ladies room."

"Don't be too late, mi amor." Alejandro said to her as she gave a quick peck to his lips and left for the ladies' room.

As I was still enjoying my pasta, I can hear Geoff's voice coming right to me.

"So, Justin Blackthorn. Me and Bridgette have heard so much about you." Geoff said to me as he sipped his champagne. "Nice job for solving the murder of my Uncle Travis. Got burned with a straw and an ounce of gasoline. That's the last time my uncle ever drinks it and burns himself."

"Yeah, sorry for your loss once again." I said as I bowed to him a little bit. "I can't even explain how stupid your uncle was. No offense."

"It's okay, it was his life after all..." Geoff said as he shook off his sad thoughts of his extra-crispy dad.

"You gotta apologize for him. His father's stupidity lives in his family. I try every day to tell him not to kill himself trying these shenanigans." Bridgette said in front of him as she looked right at Geoff.

"Heh, I'm still amazed Geoff's still standing without a broken nad, I assume." I chuckled a bit.

"Yep, still got two of them to this very day. I really got big balls to cheat death every single time." Geoff replied.

"Oh, you mean like go one of your boat expeditions?" I said to him as I kept chewing right on my food.

"I wouldn't know anything about boat expeditions." Geoff said as he kept on sipping. "I just cheat death just for fun. Imagine some hooligan riding one of those shopping machines where they're just rolling down a hill just for fun. It's gonna come. Just you wait and see. And maybe I might try it and not have a single ounce of death pouring through me."

"Man, I can hardly imagine that..." I spoke to Geoff once again as I can feel a shudder go right through me.

Meanwhile, Alejandro was still being congratulated by his mother and father as he was still eating his perfectly cayenne pepper-dashed Alfredo.

"Son, I'm very proud of you that you would give your Crystal Bull to your own father." Alejandro's dad spoke to him as he patted him on the back. "Your uncle gave it to you when you were a little boy and now you decided to pass it on to your own dad."

"I wish your brother was here to see this." Alejandro's mom replied to him as she rubbed his back, "Too bad he's so far away from us. He would have been so proud of you."

"Hey, you gotta let the elderly have something to pass on with." Alejandro smirked as he took another sip of his champagne glass. "Mother, father... I smell a bright new future ahead of us."

With a smile and another toast, the mother, father and Alejandro all sipped their glass with one final toast. But as they were, drinking away...

...a light just blew out all across the Burromuerto mansion. And to add suspense, some kind of glass had broke. This was gonna be scary. The rest of the guests all panicked one by one with just so much to run. Noah was also scared in fact that he had to hide under a table. He didn't know if he was afraid of the dark however, but he was scared crapless. The rest of the guests just started screaming out and I just didn't know what to do.

"Who in the hell turned the lights out?" Duncan shouted.

"Geoff, where are you?" Bridgette shouted out as well.

"Who's touching my breasts?" Anne Maria shouted out just being offended!

"Who in the heck is touching my butt?" Courtney shouted out as well, just like Bridgette.

"Nobody shoot me, I'm too good looking!" I shouted out from the heavens about.

As the shouting kept going on, suddenly...

...a loud gunshot was heard all across the room which left everyone in stunned silence. It was so loud that my perfectly sculpted ears almost bled out because of the boom. Man, it was hurting way inside me. A handsome man like me doesn't deserve this sound-unleashing punishment.

But then we finally stopped panicking as Heather finally turned on the lights.

"What's going on, I heard a noise and- ohhhhh!" Heather shrieked and gasped in terror as this whole dining room was now just a mess. But that wasn't the problem. The problem was that Heather had discovered a body just laying right on the table with blood just splurting right out of it's chest. Heather knew who that body was and she identified it right on the spot.

It was none other than Alejandro. My eyes couldn't believe what had now transpired right about now.

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**Whoa, who would have the audacity to murder Alejandro? But that won't be just the only problem. What was with the sound of shattering glass? It wouldn't be that... well, you just gotta check out next chapter to see what's next!  
**

**Until then, read and review, my gangstas!  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**"The Mystery of the Crystal Bull"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama, nor do I plan to anytime in the near future. Oh, and Justin does the narrating.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

I swear with my blurry vision, I saw the rest of Alejandro's blood splurt very slowly as the bullet dug straight into his heart, therefore making him a shadow of his now former self. Yep, just dead on impact like a cheating hussy getting it right where it hurts. Or kills, I don't really know at this point, but this was unpreventable. I'm certain my own good looks would think so about this. I was just thankful that my beauty was so much as spared. But Alejandro, not so much. He was as dead as a doornail.**  
**

"My god! Alejandro's been shot! Somebody call the police! Get 911!" Heather shouted in pain as she now went over to her now-dead husband.

"It's no use Heather. Right now, the bullet has dug deep enough into his heart. Right now, he's digging his own grave here and there's not a damn sense we can do about this..." I said, just breaking the news carefully to Heather. I was surprised that Heather wasn't so much as a cryer, but her voice sorta broke a bit, in which it sounded more like a little sob. But it was an angry kind of sob.

"What kind of low-life would now do this to my husband?" Heather said with a bit of anger in her voice, "Who would do this to him?"

"Take it easy, Heather. I promise with every precious beautiful bone in my body, we'll find out which piece of sausage crap shot your husband cold." I said as I tried to soothe her. Normally, I think she would act a little sympathetic for me, but the dame wasn't always like that to begin with.

"Like someone like me needs your pity! I don't need anyone's pity as far as I'm concerned!" She said to me with a little bit of a cold heart. A dame like this felt a little harsh, "I need some time alone with my husband."

"I see that..." I spoke just regretting the day I made her a little upset. Geez, I was just trying to comfort her the best that I can and she just throws me away like a used coconut. Geez, now I'm more thirsty than ever. Maybe a flask of whiskey would help drain my spirits. GLUG-GLUG-GLUG-GLUG. Ahhhhhhh, that helped a little. Where was I? Oh, great... now I'm lost to where I was. Right before I was trying to find where my whole brain was, Owen's voice just popped up from out of nowhere.

"Uh, guys... where's the Crystal Bull at?"

"Wha-?" I said as my head wandered right to the dinner table. And then, I noticed something about the Crystal Bull right about now.

It was gone. Nowhere to be found.

"It's sha-gone! Who must've done these things?" Lightning replied in a little state of shock of the missing crystal jeweled head shaped like Alejandro's necklace, but only a bit larger.

This was weird. Right before the lights came out, I swore I heard a window break somewhere alongside the house, like somebody breaking in the Burromuerto family home and murdering Alejandro with no intent whatsoever. I really didn't know if it was a window or the glass encasing the jewel, but I needed to make sure nonetheless.

"Ladies and gentleman, there is no need to panic here." I said to the rest of the guests, including Heather. "I'm on the case, and as detective like me, Noah and Owen here, we're always on the case."

"Panic? I think it's a damn good time to panic in a case like this!" Duncan shouted out in front of me, "Not only Alejandro's dead, but the jewel's been stolen as well. As far as me and my gal Courtney are concerned, we're outta here. Let's get going."

"Indeed, I've seen some weird bizarre things for today..." Courtney replied as she turned to the window, where it was now raining hardly yet violently like pieces of my broken mirror. That's not good for someone like me because I like to be fascinated by my beauty whenever I like to kill time right at my office. "Um, Duncan... are you sure you really wanna go out because it's just raining like cats and dogs here."

"Relax, gal. If I can learn to get past my fat uncle's smelly case of toe jam and somebody farting fire coming from their butts, I can try to get past through rain here. Hang on, princess." Duncan replied as he held Courtney's hand through this. As soon as they held hands, they made their way through the exit, when all of a sudden...

_**BOOM!**_

A sound of thunder shook the home real nicely. Oh, man... why do I sense the feeling that I smelt a bit of burnt skin? Well, it was clear that Courtney came back to the house...

...only to be followed by Duncan, whose suit was burned out a little and his skin was charred which made him suffer a good first degree burn on a half portion of his body. It was really bad outside, which means that the rest of the guests, that of course if you count Noah, Owen, and yours truly were gonna be stuck for a little while. This felt like Alcatraz in a mansion all at once.

"I was wrong. It is as bad as it seems..." Duncan said with a little bit of a shocked stutter.

"Yeah, and for once it's not really happening to me." Noah said as he chuckled a bit, knowing that he wasn't Duncan himself. yeah, I guess he should be very much lucky as it is not to even be Duncan. Noah was now checking up on Heather and a dead Alejandro as the brainiac decided to charm her in a comforting state. Not to mention to try and charm her with that little yellow suit he had to put on thanks to Owen, "Heather, I am so sorry for your loss. I just want you to understand that if you need an shoulder to cry on-"

Noah was then cut of by Heather just sucker-punching him right on his chest. He somehow cried painfully.

"I said I don't need anyone's pity! Can't you see that I'm in grief?" Heather said as he felt a little annoyed by Noah's sympathy. Good thing that wasn't me or my gorgeous chest wouldn't survive a hit like that. I reckon she would hit anyone like Joe Lewis. (Remember, this story takes place in 1948 New York.) Noah then turned to me with anger on his face.

"You lied to me Justin! You said this would help me get chicks, not to get me punched like a bruised banana!" Noah cried out to me angry as he was holding on to his chest in pain.

"Blame Owen, it was his idea to make you look a bit retarded." I said to Owen as Noah now looked right at the fatboy.

"Don't hurt me! Like I said, it was the only tuxedo they had in stock!" Owen said as he cringed a bit at Noah glaring at him.

"When we're done with this case, you're riding on top of the car! I don't even care if you get struck by lightning next!" Noah snapped a bit right at a frightened Owen.

"Lightning will take care of that!" Lightning said as he cracked his knuckles and approached Owen, but Noah seemed to stop him any further.

"I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!" Noah shouted right to Lightning as the athletic overachiever glared right at him.

"Well, this is a huge piece of faux pas..." I said to myself a bit out loud, "First, we have a dead man and now we got a missing jewel in our hands. Two cases in one night it seems. This means only one thing."

"We're not gonna eat? I'm still starvin' like a charred horse..." Anne Maria spoke a bit to me. Geez, I mainly forgot she was still here. Oh well, at least some of the guests should still have screen time a little bit. So I looked right at her far away.

"Oh, were gonna eat all right. But then, we're gonna find out who murdered Alejandro and stole that priceless Crystal Bull!" I exclaimed to everyone, who focused their attention to me. "Now, I may feel a little dumb despite my brain being a little empty most of the time, but that doesn't mean my brilliant detective skills will come into play. Now I happen to realize that somebody... and I do mean 'somebody' in this room... killed Alejandro and stole the crystal."

Hearing me say that sent shockwaves to the rest of the guests, who all gasped thinking it may be one of them who had a sense to murder the richest and yet the youngest member of the Burromuerto family. They all turned the other cheek thinking they didn't want to tell me first hand. But I would be willing to get the answers out in front of them.

"Um, Justin... I know I don't want to be a little tissue-drenched nag about this, but wouldn't be easier to find clues first other than just terrorize people insanely on who did what and who done it?" Noah said to me with a shrug of the shoulders.

"That's baldercrap to me, Noah. I'm the kind of detective that tells it like it is. Don't be ashamed. Let your conscience be your guide." I said to Noah in response.

"That didn't make any sense whatsoever, Justin." Noah said as he also rolled his eyes to my response.

"It does have to make sense. Now my empty brain isn't a bit smart enough to handle such clues in two cases, but I know that everyone of you... are suspects. Heck, even my abdominables know it and they'll tell you what I really tell you. And I'll tell all of you once again. Every last one of you..." I said as I pointed to each guest in the house, "...are suspects."

Everyone, which meant Lightning, Anne Maria, Geoff, Bridgette, Duncan, Courtney, LeShawna, Harold, Heather, the butler whose name wasn't even really mentioned and quite frankly, I don't give a damn, and the parents of Alejandro all gasped and gulped in surprise. Quite frankly, Owen gulped too but it felt a little unnerving to me, knowing that the look on his face said it all.

"Okay, I know it's not the dramatic effect kicking in, but I feel like I soiled myself right now..." Owen said in an embarrassed tone. "Anybody got an extra pair of undies I can borrow."

"Try my dead husband's room." Heather said right to Owen.

"Thanks!" Owen exclaimed as he suddenly rushed upstairs to find the bedroom of Alejandro's. I just tilted my head and hat in shame as I didn't want to feel Owen's embarrassment any longer.

With the interrogating having to wait much longer for Owen to find an extra set of underwear, this night felt like it was just gonna be a long usual night. My precious looks isn't gonna last longer than this, I swear...

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**All right! Finally, we'll get to the interrogating part! This feels like it's gonna be fun to do! Although it may take a while to see how each of the guest's stories will pan out, but it's gonna be worth it for you to find out who killed Alejandro and stole the priceless crystal artifact known as the Crystal Bull! I won't give away surprises until the last chapter of the story, but all you gotta do is read and review until we get there!  
**

**Until then, BA-FRICKIN'-ZINGA, BITCH!**


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